First off, last night was a mix bag of craziness, entertainment, surprises and familiar faces. Let's just say, I've had my fill of Hollywood that'll last me a while. I've never been to a big Hollywood club that was shut down just for one person's birthday. Grey goose girls walking around, vice on the tables, dancing with the birthday boy in a circle while he offers me pizza, VIP, and of course a bunch of hazy conversations that had me saying, "whaaat the ef?!" But I guess that's the kind of parties you go to when you're "Hollywood" and attending a Skam Artist party......it never disappoints!
Nevertheless, I think it's time to take a moment to center myself again lol So here it goes....
While reading Eat Pray Love ((yea that book is kinda my bible...my saving grace from whirlwinds of messy life experiences)) Liz admitted that she wanted a lasting experience with God. It was effin brilliant! With every confused thought and feeling I had, I would always rationally think it through and eventually found a way to make myself feel better. Still, there was always something I thought was missing in me, in my life. And after reading that line..."a lasting experience with God"...it suddenly occurred to me that, that's what I needed too. I have yet to really understand how to make that possible, but it feels good to know that everything will be alright...with just that thought in my mind. I'd like to think that I'm more spiritual than religious. I guess those two words have different meanings...though they may be comparable to most people. It's debatable, I guess. I'm more in tune with spiritual things...always attracted to someone's soul rather than the normal reasons you would be attracted to someone...loves nature, meditation, yoga, and all that jazz. However, I've never really been religious- because I've struggled with fully accepting any particular religion's beliefs. And I want to be fully dedicated if I attach myself to "a religion". I guess I'm open to all- and I believe a little of each religion's practices and views. It started in high school...when I slowly drifted from Catholicism and started praying on my own. I've always believed in God and all his goodness. So now that I'm 26...living a normal mid-twenties life...I'm old enough to really confront what it means to have a lasting experience with God. And I think it's most important that I keep that desire to want and need it because as I grow older and will eventually start a family ((hope it's a little ways from now lol)), I want to pass down a set of beliefs and belong to a religion that I can share with my kids and family.
So why did I start my post with my crazy Hollywood night and end it with wanting to be more present with God? I believe, life is life....filled with experiences meant to be taken in. There's deeper connections with other people ((relationships)), traveling & exploring different parts of the world, having fun, treating people right, giving back to the world, and being grateful for each day and what it has to offer. I truly believe God put us here to do just that- live. And with that comes those crazy Hollywood parties, going out, spending money. And I feel great about doing those things...and having a life that is balanced. Everything in the middle. Nothing is good if it's extreme one way or another. And because I keep God close, it allows me to enjoy those things even more and know that He wants us to enjoy our lives. I'm not afraid I'll ever be extreme with one thing- and that includes parties. Because I do enjoy staying in and chilling out...and I may do just that tonight...
After a family party of course! lol
<3 k
